A Thanksgiving Story

After settling into my first backwoods Brooklyn apartment a little more than two years ago, it dawned on me that a great way to have a housewarming would be to host Thanksgiving dinner. What a good idea, I thought, to show Camille, my study-abroad, Taiwanese cousin who was staying with me, the timeless American tradition of anxiety and pressure during the holiday season. Yes, I decided, we should host a dinner for 10, and make the meal from scratch.

Thus, on Wednesday November 26, 2008, I scheduled a meeting with Camille at the Union Square Farmers Market with the following menu on my clipboard: Roast turkey, gravy, stuffing, mashed potatoes, green bean casserole, creamed spinach, cranberry sauce, cranberry relish, stuffed sweet potatoes, pumpkin cheesecake, pumpkin pie, and dinner rolls. I didn’t realize the absurdity of the list until the monster inside me nearly snarled at the poor farmer who had run out of sage. It was then that I realized that this sh*- was about to get real. No turning back.

So, it’s no surprise that after two failed attempts at making yeasted dinner rolls the following afternoon, that I was running to the store yet again to buy another three envelopes of the good stuff. The first time, the yeast failed to proof. Yeast Lesson #1: Don’t dissolve yeast in boiling liquids; permissible temperatures are about 112 degrees cooler. The second attempt wasn’t much better. Yeast Lesson #2: When the dough fails to rise, you have failed. Don’t bake batches of dense dough balls. Don’t bite into them with hope in your heart. Don’t admit defeat. You are an American. Even if you’re not, dig into the tenacity that I know you have. Warm that liquid to a temperature you would feel comfortable dripping onto your eyeball. Perfect. Let the dough rise a foot away from that pot of boiling potatoes. You’re awesome. You’re going to have dinner rolls. God bless [Your Country], and Happy Thanksgiving!

Dinner Rolls
Yield: 12 dinner rolls
Time: Prep: 10 minutes;Total rising time: 1.5 hour; Baking time: 15 minutes

Ingredients:
½ cup whole wheat flour
2 cups all-purpose flour
1 egg, beaten
2 teaspoons active dry yeast
¼ raw brown sugar
½ teaspoon kosher salt
¼ cup olive oil
⅜ cup warm water
⅜ cup warm low-fat milk
coarse sea salt (optional)

Instructions:

1. In a medium (2 qt) saucepan, scald the milk, water, and sugar. Remove from heat, and let it cool to about 100°
2. While the liquids are cooling, whisk together the whole wheat flour, all-purpose flour, and salt, in a large mixing bowl; make a well in the middle
3. Whisk the oil and the egg into the liquids, and carefully pour it into the well of the dry mixture — do not stir, but cover it with a lid or plastic wrap
4. Allow the mixture to sit for 30 minutes in a warm place
5. Mix, then lightly knead the dough right in the bowl, scrape down the sides, and shape the dough into a smooth ball; lightly oil the sides of the bowl, and the dough ball
6. Cover the bowl and let the dough rise for an hour in a warm place; pre-heat your oven to 400°
7. Divide and shape the dough into twelve round balls, and space them on a baking sheet, or inside a 10×10 baking dish; brush the tops with olive oil or a beaten egg; sprinkle with coarse sea salt
8. Bake for 15 minutes; if baking in a baking dish, let the rolls cool for about 20 minutes on a cooling rack before pulling them apart

Oops! I Did It Again

Back during Q1 of 2010, I resolved to become a “flogger” — aka, a food blogger. We are now wading in the waters of Q4, and it is time to reflect upon lessons learned. First, being a flogger has not given me more dinner-party-chit-chat material. In fact, I haven’t been invited to any dinner parties since Q1. Therefore, I have not appeared to be any more superficially interesting than before 2010. Second, this good-bloggers-blog-often thing really stymies my stunning creative abilities, as well as my freedom and overwhelming desire to watch The Bourne Identity/Supremacy/Ultimatum every other night.

In the spirit of honesty, I feel compelled to tell you that I didn’t even follow the below crumpet recipe. Not following the recipe, and then waiting 16 days to write about it sans notes, must be the cardinal sin in the flogging world. People have excuses for everything, and mine are that I executed this recipe while jet-lagged and in a 6:30am pilates class, so it’s no wonder that Beranbaum’s careful recipe instructions fell by the wayside.

Even faux floggers have their redeeming qualities, and mine is the quality of being a “teller”, something not uncharacteristic amongst unaccountable, self-entitled youngest siblings. So let me instruct you, dear reader and flour-eater, to either follow the below recipe, or do what 99.9% of crumpet-lovers do and buy the manufactured version of the hole-y, and squidgy batter bread. Either way, the end product instructions are these: toast the crumpet, apply a light coat of butter (not marge), and finish with an even lighter layer of Marmite.

Crumpets
recipe adapted from Rose Levy Beranbaum’s the bread bible
Yield: 8 crumpets
Time: Prep: 1.5 hours; Cooking time: about 10 minutes per batch

Ingredients:
1 cup plus 1½ tablespoons all-purpose flour
2 tablespoons dry milk
1 teaspoon active dry yeast
½ teaspoon sugar
½ teaspoon salt
¾ cup plus 2 tablespoons warm water (separated)
¼ teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon melted butter

Equipment:
Hand-held mixer
14″ cast iron skillet or griddle
4 3-4″ biscuit cutters

Instructions:

1. In a large bowl, dissolve the sugar in ¾ cup of the warm water, then dissolve the yeast and allow it to proof for 10 minutes
2. In a medium bowl, mix the batter; whisk together the flour, dry milk, and salt
3. Add the dry ingredients to the bowl of liquids, and mix with the mixer until well-mixed and no flour bits remain, about 5 minutes
4. Scrape the batter into a container, cover, and allow to double, about 1 hour
5. Mix the baking soda in with the remaining bit of water, and stir it into the batter; allow to double and get bubbly again, about 30 minutes
6. Pre-heat the skillet/griddle over medium low heat/275°; butter up the insides of the biscuit rings, and place them onto the heated surface
7. Spoon the batter into the rings, about a half inch high; once the tops of hole-y and no longer shiny, flip them over and lightly brown the tops as well
8. Cool on wire racks; store in freezer for up to 3 months

These Five Six Words I’ll Swear to You

Good Friend A recently asked me if I considered myself an introvert or extrovert. A mental montage packed itself into the seconds before my reply. The first was of Summer Nights 2010 – Me, perspiring in my un-air-conditioned apartment. Thanks be to God that no one is available to bear witness to my hot mess during the hottest summer in NYC history. The second was of Corporate Tiffany (Jun-Aug ’10) – Me, sporadically bringing my office-mates loneliness-induced baked goods, and some snippy attitude. I have no doubt that the latter is correlated with the former. If being re-charged means a more positive perspective, introversion is not the way for me.

Enter Good Friend B. We’ve probably seen each other no more than an average of once per year over 13 years, although seeing each other has never been why we remain such good friends. We’re similar sums who help each other refine the parts that need it. She recently stayed over at my apartment to be my sous chef/photographer, and while we waited for that loaf to rise, we recovered some memories via Facebook, and mulled over what’s to come over some wine (hint: zoom in on photo 9). I always thought that cooking and baking was time better spent alone, but having her there was wonderful. I am much better off sharing that time with her, and, of course, having her as my friend.

H – In the poor, yet heartfelt, grammar of Jon Bon Jovi, these five words I’ll swear to you — I’ll be there for you. Thank you for showing me that baking bread can be just as good as breaking bread. Congratulations on what is to come on, and after, October 9.

100% Whole Wheat Bread

recipe adapted from ericalea at tastykitchen

Yield: 1 loaf of bread

Active time: 30 minutes; Rising times: 1hr 20 minutes; Baking time:45 minutes

Ingredients:
1½ tsp active dry yeast
1½ cups warm water (100°-110°)
2 tbsp molasses
3 tbsp olive oil
3½ cups whole wheat flour
1 tbsp vital wheat gluten
1½ tsp salt
1 large egg
1 tbsp heavy cream
¼ cup rolled oats

Instructions:

1. In a large bowl, mix the water and molasses; microwave for about 40 seconds, until it reaches the right temperature; sprinkle the yeast over the liquid and let it proof for 10 minutes; once it has proofed, add the olive oil
2. In a medium bowl, mix together the whole wheat flour, salt, and vital wheat gluten
3. Add the dry ingredients to the bowl of liquids, and stir until well-mixed; cover for 20 minutes
4. Knead the dough for 10 minutes until smooth
5. Place the dough into a lightly-oiled container, flipping the dough around until the entire surface area has a bit of oil on it; cover and let it double at room temperature
6. Pre-heat oven to 350°
7. Take out the dough and gently flatten it to the size of a piece of printer paper; roll it from one short end to the other, keeping the surface area taut; seal up the edges with your fingers; place into a lightly-oiled 8½ x 4½ loaf pan; lightly-oil the top of the loaf, and cover with a piece of plastic wrap; let it almost double in size at room temperature
8. Mix the egg with the cream, and add a pinch of salt; brush dough with egg mixture, and sprinkle with oats
9. Bake for 45 minutes; put it on a cooling rack for two hours before slicing